A fake sun smell that’s lingers on skin and makes pores gloop.
Wandering in the world.
Covered in it.
Frustrated that I’m stuck here and you’re free.
I’m not around this weekend. I decided to fill my time with old company and stale bottles.
Dusty glasses left on the shelf over the greasy fridge.
I had dreamt for so much more.
I had dreamt of slow motion looks and sizzling eyes.
Now I collapse on unwashed sheets and focus on my imaginary life.
I’m so alone in darkness and disappointment.
I don’t know who to love or what to do.
Feeling trapped in wire cages of my own folding.
I can see through the minuscule gaps the laughs and loves of others.
Turned up mouths and shining eyes that appear so foreign and out of reach to my own frosty pupils.
I can’t imagine happiness anymore, the giant on the other side of the wall. The troll under the bridge.
Growing hate like soft moss, growing insecurity and fear as ivy traps a house.
I’m a lost cause.
Done.
A man in a river with cement for feet.
I’m having a bad day.
Grey swirls
Tipping edges
Sounds drowning
There will be no tunnelled light
There will be no kiss
No happiness
Just myself in rolls of grief
What’s the point in the ticking of time anyway?
I don’t listen to sad music anymore
It reminds me that we are doomed.
I want to fry alive in our fire
I can’t imagine
Crawling away
Broken and burnt from our flames
Dead scorched earth.
Bones baked and broken
It makes me feel sick
A Phoenix ending.
I want to boil within you
Tied to your stake
For good.
Soft flesh falling away
Blackened feet
Melted hair
A martyr
For these ashes
That will blow so far
Forever forgotten.
hottempergininfusion 